Sephy is Best

"We’re home!" Tifa and Aeris walked into the living carrying several bags of groceries on both arms. Tifa took a good look at the room and screamed.

Tifa::"What Happen to My Living ROOM While I Went Grocery Shopping??????? Did the Emerald Weapon Drops In for A Surprise Attack????" The living room is indeed in a sad condition. Someone had made several holes in the ceiling so now it looks like it’s about to crash any seconds. The floor is covered with splinters and the sofas are split in halves. Mixed with the wreckage are various assortment of junk food identified to be popcorns, Sneaker bits, jelly beans, chocolate cookies…etc On the four makeshift sofas sit 4 or 5 creatures called men, who continue to grab whatever junk food their grubby hands can reach and shove them to their mouth during commercial breaks. Having a hard time with their indifference to her anger, Tifa screams:"ARGGGGGGGG!!!!!!! YOU @#%@^%, GIVE ME BACK MY LIVING ROOM"

Cid, Vincent, Barret, Cait Sith, Red and Cloud all::"Sheeeeeshh, get a load of yourself Tifa!!, we are watching Olajuwan dunking his 3pt ball now. God, women and their complaints" Cloud let out a nervous laughs, belches and slugs back to the sofa. Red licks on the ground for leftover popcorns.

Tifa and Aerith turns their head away in disgust::"Why do we fight for that slob called Cloud. We’re so blind!"

Aerith hits herself to atone her love mistake,"Right on, soul sister!"

While they are exchanging various faults of the male species and lamenting their fates, a form with silver hair and green mako eyes materializes in front of them.

The form::"Ladies, I sympathizes with your agonies. But don’t give up hopes on human males yet, you’re looking at an extraordinary example now."

Tifa and Aerith::"SEPHIROTHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sephiroth jumps down with a flourish, yanks off his trench coat and flexes his muscles in official Mr. Universe poses.

Tifa and Aerith fanning themselves like crazy::"God,it’s so hot around here!" They eyes rake the perfect male flesh before them greedily.

Tifa::" Whoa, this is Final Heaven man"

Aerith::"Yeah, no more slobs"

Sephiroth::"To start with the laundry list of why I’m Mr. Right, first, I have a fine sense of fashion. See this shiny trench coat? Armani couldn’t do it better himself. So no more "I don’t know", "you look good with everything" or " just pick that and go" from me at the mall.."

Tifa and Aerith "ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu………….."

Sephiroth nods" Yes, and the second qualification is I take care of my hair." Flips his silver hair. " I wash it everyday with KMS shampoo and use hot oil treatments on it every week. Oh, I forgot to mention hair salon is one of my fav hangout places."

Aerith::kneeling to the hair guru ::"Sephiroth san, do you think you can give me some curling iron tips?"

Sephiroth grins::"Why Aerith, anytime!"

Tifa::"Maybe some help on split ends for me?"

Sephiroth::"Sure, I can never say no to beautiful lady like you."

Tifa gigles.

Sephiroth::"And my final qualification other than being stronger than Hercules is I hate dogs! No doggie for me, uh-um. I will never prefer spending my time with a dog than with a woman. Yuck! These people need help." (Red barks::" YOU!%#!!%")

Tifa and Aerith clap their hands.

Tifa::"Looks like I found my man"

Aerith::"No way, you silicon implant cheap chit!!!!! He’s my dream date" -.-

Tifa::"How dare you say that!!!! You iron-board sugar tart! You leave my man alone" *`o’*

Aerith:"He’s mine"

Tifa:"He’s not"

Aerith"He’s mine"

Tifa::"He’s not"

Aerith and Tifa face each other and raise their fists. The tension between them is sharp enough to slice a 500lb cow. Then Sephiroth intervenes. Being a nice guy, he hates to see women suffer in any way.

Sephiroth::"Hold ya horses, ladies. There’s more of me for each of you" Sephiroth snaps his finger. Immediately, Tifa and Aerith are surrounded by hooded figures with number tatoos on their hands. "One, Two, Three, Pull!" Sephiroth gives the signal, all of the hooded figure yank the hoods away at once in synchronization. Their faces look exactly like Sephy.

Sephiroth::"hehe, that’s the only positive outcome of cloning!"

The Sephy clones gather around Aerith and Tifa and start performing their services. One fans the girls while the Sephy #6 & #4 busy themselves with peeling fruits and feeding them to the girls. Sephy #12 do a little striptease.

Aerith::too happy to say a word::"Jesus, this feel like Friday Restuarant"

(Friday’s like a male geisha place for women patrons)

Tifa::"O hahahahaha………………" Two bare-chest Sephy clones are given Tifa shoulder and foot messages.

Sephy clones::"Thank you dear patrons for choosing Sephiroth-Dale. Please tip 20%"

Sephiroth smacks all of them. "Idiots! Free services for the lovely ladies"

Aerith::"Sephyyy, why don’t’ we go someplace to hang out, here stinks!"

Sephiroth::"Mmmmmmm,.we can stop by my home at the North Cave for Happy Hour booze"

Aerith and Tifa::"Sounds Good, Let’s goooooooo!!!!"


Sephiroth, Aerith, Tifa and Sephy clones vanish in the thin air, leaving Cloud, Cid, Barret, Cait Sith, Red and Vincent to their TV in the wrecked living room.

Yuffie walks in::"Wahhhhh…why am I always left out, that’s not FAIR!!!!!!!"

Cloud, Cid, Barret, Cait Sith, Red and Vincent::"Shut Up, We’re trying to watch the damned TV!"

Cloud::looks around:: "Duh, where did Tifa and Aerith went? Anyone?" He gives up and turns back to the TV, just in time to gawk at the Cowboys Cheerleaders. ^_^;;;;